Magic

Tomorrow is the party and there's so much left to do. I need to paint and assemble some hangy things for the bar area, see if I need to make more cupcakes, finish my apron, shave, get fresh cilantro for the salsa, clean up the floors, and get some sleep. 

I don't know if it's because I've been doing so many things at once but emotionally I have been having a roller coaster ride. Between feeling down and feeling hopeful and excited (for the party as well as for ThanksgiveChristmas) I have too many extremes. I need to put myself back into balance and remember to enjoy life all around me. Life isn't a list of chores and errands; it's the very wind that blows a single hair into your eye but without that you never would have looked up and saw the last flower blooming. 

I read a post from Humans of NY on Facebook and it was about a man who's favorite time was when he was a kid. When you're a kid everything has this magical air to it; you're always discovering new things and coming up with new questions. He said that that's the last time he was utterly happy and I thought, why does the magic stop? Why don't we just continue on with the wonder of the world in our eyes? What happens to take away such a beautiful connection to everything around us?

My mother has said in the past that you never really grow up, you just gain more responsibility. Now as an adult, I see it is the responsibility and haunting ness of reality that can weigh you down. But what if each day we look for or imagine one magical thing (it doesn't have to be fairies-- it could be that feeling you get when you wake up and you feel the first day of fall). Drink up whatever you can of that feeling of awe, and use it as your energy. If something negative happens, shoo it away with your magic. 

I don't think it's possible to really be a child again but you can definitely question and stand in awe at the magic all around you like a child. That television you watch? What makes that work? Waves and electricity. Magic. 

Almost There!

There's always something to look forward to; whether you have something big planned for the weekend or you're just ready to head home for the holidays, there's something. This coming Saturday will be Alex and my first party at the new place (not that we officially had one at the old place). It doesn't seem like many people are coming but I think just enough will come to make it a success.
I've had some help with Kaitlin doing fun decorations around the house with streamers. Now we need to get dangle-y poof sugar skulls done and assembled to hang around the apartment.
I'm planning to make my simple delicious salsa and the vegan cupcake recipe I got from Marry quite some time ago now. I also need to get the alter set up to place these yummies. I say alter because it's going to be Dia de los Muertos and why not go along with the actual holiday (even though it's a halloween costume party).
So I have a bit left to do to prepare for the party but I do need to make sure I have all my school work done and submitted.

In other news, I've realized that I'm not very good with getting results for things that require directions. I am good at getting good results-- as long as I allow myself to make alterations along the way. For example, those darn pockets on this ridiculous apron I'm still trying to finish. I've been trying to do them exactly like the pattern (yes the point of doing the pattern is to familiarize myself with terms but, to be entirely honest, I think I'm the type of person who does best when they jump on in instead of calculating everything). So... I'm gonna do this!

A Series

I chose this particular image because it's empowering and truthful. You can be the strongest person in the world but if you don't believe in yourself, you are your weakest link.

Life really is a series of ups and downs, roll overs, and side-ways flips: emotionally, physically, externally, and so on. I've been doing really good lately; keeping up with my school work but still not back into my gym routine (mostly because both are best done for me in the morning). There are so many excuses to give about not making it to the gym and they can all be quite valid. It's up everyone to find their motivation once more.
For me, getting back to the gym has always been made easier with group fitness. I've found a yoga class at the USF Rec Center that I enjoy and it's challenging enough that I'm not just stretching-- I'm pushing myself. I know that yoga is going to be a part of my life for the rest of my days, and I haven't missed a day in quite some time.
In addition to getting back by leaning on my yoga, the tickets for MegaCon going on sale have made it all even more real and pressing. I need to whip this butt into shape and I'm even considering doing shakes just to make it a more simple process. The trouble is I don't like drinking my meals-- as I have probably mentioned before. The reason I want to do this type of fad is to get me to where I'd like to be-- maintaining shouldn't be too tough for me because I almost always have a steady weight (TOM can be thanked for the random 2 pounds I gain and lose once a month). Of course, also working out again will benefit my shape but I know it's not enough to get me further. It's not enough because the area I am trying to tone up on my body is my lower abdomen-- my own personal main fat store. Second main fat store is my thighs.  Really gotta whip this all into shape if I'm going to be wearing a bodysuit.
In other news, I have come to terms that daily blogging needs to be put to rest for me (at least for now) and make way for a more feasible dedicated post. With everything I need to be doing throughout the week, I think a weekly post would work well and then I can post additional whenever I want to record something.

The Life of a Grad Student As I Know It

I'm sure it has become very clear to you readers that the frequency of my posts has decreased significantly. While there have certainly been moments that I could squeeze in a quick post, I've opted for something else. What have I been doing with my time? Reflecting on it now, I've actually been quite productive with my assignments. I've updated my résumé so I can apply for fieldwork next semester. I've participated more in my online class discussions because I am actually genuinely interested in the material. The best way for me to tell that I'm doing well with school work is to reflect on how I spend my time. This past week I have still not completed my apron (heaven knows it must happen eventually 'cause this girl got no sewing skeels). However, compared to the past, very little of my time has been devoted to watching videos. Maybe one hour every other day or every two days do I watch my shows. Other than that I've been trying to spend time with Alex since we re both kept busy with school and work. I did manage to make it to a 10 AM yoga class at the gym and it was just right. I can tell I needed it-- to let go and just breathe; to not be wondering what's next. Just to be. Being a grad student has shown me that it really does take a chunk out of my daily life but the quality of the other parts of my life increase. There's more curiosity more value to exchanges and conversations. More... Well, life, even though there is less time to use.

Despite my lack of presence here on my blog, I feel I am doing so much each day that there just never seems to be enough time for it all. I do my best to keep up with friends and family (note to self: get Jon Jon's Skype info) and I try to get out of the apartment everyday but allow myself a day or two to chill at home (note #2 I need to sweep/mop and clean the bathroom). 

I've found I'm very happy amongst the chaos of life-- very active with moments for breathing in between. When I skip the tv and Facebook I find time for things like riding bikes (just gotta be careful with my new one-- I already let Roger beat me up once. He throws a mean punch). 

Where I am now, I'm healthily proud. There is so much I'd like to do but I'm content with doing what I can. I know I won't be able to do everything but I should do all that fits within my waking hours. 

I hope to continue to see progress with myself and how I spend my time because I am and hope to continue to be the person I want to be.