Yield to Purifying Light

“The true mind can withstand all illusions and never be lost. The true heart can touch the poison of hatred but never be harmed. Since beginning-less time, darkness has always thrived in the void, but has always yielded to purifying light. In the era before the Avatar, we bent not the elements, but the energy within ourselves. To bend another’s energy, your own spirit must be unbreakable, or you will be corrupted, and destroyed…"

Lion Turtle, Avatar (2005)

by PeterSiedlArt on dA

What Are Your Intentions?

I have been writing a daily intention in my journal since January 1st. I forgot yesterday (because my journal really was out of sight and out of mind) but so far I like writing in my  journal-- making an intention for my day, reflecting on anything and everything without holding back. It's nice to go back and look at the patterns of my mind and discern aspects of myself that require attention (i.e. being lazy or making poor eating habit choices). 

Today's intention started out as "to be present and drink up everything around me" which, you know, already sounds great but then I started walking through the library and caught myself shying away from looking into other people's eyes. I thought back to one of my YTT classes and remembered how special it was to look someone in the eye and just smile. 

And so, I did. I proceeded through my morning with so much to share and nothing to lose. I looked at the people around me, just observing them, my mind making connections with their walk and alignment but then I realized something else. Seeking out that connection, wanting to catch someone's eye just to share a smile with them, I realized I was being present.

My lunch break allowed me the opportunity to sit in a corner and be present with my meal, to take in the warmth of the tumeric on the mung beans, the sweetness of the basmanti rice, the crunch of spaghetti squash, the snap of the peas-- it was all nourishing to my body and my mind. After eating I could have read articles on my phone but instead I just sat and observed. I watched where others looked, the expressions they shared; I listened to the sound and tone of their voice, their gestures and posture. I was right there. 

And now I'm right here, writing to you. 

Here's to daily intentions.

Namaste. 

Namaste, 2016

Last year I set out to let go of the dark corners in my past, the depression, the disconnection to the world around me. I set the intention to become a better friend and give all that I can: 

"This year I hope to become better at giving all that I can. I hope to achieve a state in my yoga that will allow me to help reach out to others seeking peace and restore their faith in themselves. My deepest wish is for love-- for all beings to feel it engulf them and fill their lives with hope and generosity." 

That wish follows me into this new year, along with these new intentions.

After I stirred from the end of a beautiful New Years practice at the Lotus Pond, I was instructed to write down two things. 

On one notecard, we were told to write something we wanted to let go of that we could throw into the fire outside. On the other, an intention, a daily practice to help fulfill our intentions in the coming year. 

On one card I wrote, "Daily journaling, creating more: paint, music, classes, etc. Make daily intentions." 

And the other I wrote a slew of things I wanted to let go of. I circled certain words that I wanted to be sure the universe read: "Fear, doubt, laziness." I watched the paper burn in the flames, making sure it crumbled and became nothing more than a coal in the fire. I turned and walked away, knowing I am as free as I want to be-- as free as the air feeding the flames.

The intentions, I put in my wallet. Here (in my journal) I plant the seed for this year. 

I will complete my 200 YTT program in February and that alone really sheds light on the changes ahead, on the flowers that may bloom.

Today and every day, I wish all of you the clarity of finding the peace and beauty already within you.

Namaste

Feel the 'Sakti

OM Gam Ganapataye Namaha

I've said it in previous posts, my life has been spinning fast.
All around me, the world seems to move in fast forward and time has never been so precious. I see my day pass at work as if through a window. I try to keep busy, reading articles and doing whatever on the computer. For the most part I lack stimulation as an assistant and I don't really do much of anything when I am working at USF. I have been working every day, with the graciousness of the holidays off to keep me sane, but I've felt worn like a sweater in an endless dryer cycle-- a small part of me brushed away against the lint catch. The thought of leaving USF and keeping to Clearwater has crossed my mind numerous times and has been taken under serious consideration time and time again.
These past weeks I have found my mind shaken by stress and the overwhelming responsibilities of being a grown up. Friday night I reached inside myself and had a taste of the peace within me, my true self sitting in the oasis of my being.

Quieting my mind was more of a challenge than usual this past YTT weekend. The ghost of Tim's presence lingered everywhere I turned: the smell of lilies that bloomed too late for the funeral, the white birds returning to the pond, the chill in the air of a warm room; reminders of the energy he left behind.
I spent the weekend battling inside me, accepting the comfort of my friends' presence, and reminding myself of the revelations I had come to over the past two weeks. It wasn't until Sunday when the weekend had reached its dusk and we were handed mala beads that my mind settled in.
OM Gam Ganapataye Namaha. A mantra for removing obstacles.
The vibrations of every syllable, the brush of each bead on my thumb and the comfort of my sangha... I was finally home, in my mothers arms, listening to her heart beating-- the kiss of a drum's music stroking my ears.

Wherever my path weaves and bends, I'm taking it one step at a time.

OM Gam Ganapataye Namaha. This mantra follows me into the new year as I face the decisions and challenges ahead.