Oh yeah, I have a blog to work on.

I know I missed my post last week. It was actually a pretty busy week but not as productive with school work or the gym as I would have liked. I found shoes for my brother's wedding, got Alex's car fixed, went to St. Pete for the first time, ate Spinach Pie and the best Falafel I've ever had. Looked at dresses for my brother's rehearsal brunch but no luck finding the one. My best friend Kaitlin and sister Kate did Dance Marathon and raised money for sick children. Alex took down and rebuilt office spaces for the big race in St. Pete. Aaaand work was very busy at Worm's Way. I don't know yet if I passed my Regular Part Time Sales Position test but it would be awesome to be able to receive commission in addition to my pay.

I actually typed up a post on my phone on Friday but I didn't post it. I think it was really romantic with strong reference to mythology. I'll have to post it sometime once I take another gander at it. I also did take my measurements and pictures of myself for my weekly post last week but yet they did not make it to the post that did not get posted.
I've been struggling with getting going these past few weeks. I've been sluggish with my work and missing my drive for the gym. Penny is doing really good though. Her and Rinpoche actually play together. She even lets him near her food bowl (like his face right next to it. When she gets a treat she breaks it up into piece and Rinpoche has after them but when Penny is ready to eat that piece he's after, she just moves him aside so gently with her snout and eats it.

Well I have lots to do and catch up with. I made a detailed list and divided up the wants from the need to dos. Obviously the wants are rewards or things to do when taking a break from school work... come to think of it I did not include this blog post. Oh well, I did it and it's a want more than a need but it could be a need since I didn't post one last week.

One of the wants on my list is to go for a bicycle ride and I realized very recently that Alex and I have stopped doing our rides together. It seems to have stopped around the time we got Penny. Getting a dog really is like having a kid. You feel bad every time you leave them. I think the weather just hasn't been in our favor on nights when we can go out and then we're both busy otherwise or just dead tired. I think even if we're tired we should go for a quick one.

I hope you are all well and you're buckling down on school work better than I am. I wish you the best and luck during these last stressful weeks of the semester.

Amrit, Not-it Yoga

Amrit yoga was not what I expected at all. I figured it would be spiritual with strong focus on breath during poses but the entire class I went to was centered on breath, and connecting with your seventh chakra. While that sounds kind of cool, it was very frustrating at the end when I have so much energy build up to spend. I wanted to use my energy, relieve myself of tension and while the instructor meant well, sometimes just breathing isn't enough. It's great for people who have long work days and are stressed but this is at a college campus where there is stress and students do get tired but not the extent of a full-scheduled mother or anything like that. The day I went was a very blah day thanks to the icky rainy weather and I just bummed around the apartment watching movies all day, caught up with my shows. I needed to use that energy build up but unfortunately Amrit Yoga is not meant for that.
At least now I know. I gave it an honest attempt and respected the instructor's styles but it's just not for me. I need my Vinyasa; I need to feel my muscles shake while sweat drips down... I need my power yoga back. I'm still hunting and to be honest I'm still trying to get myself back into good habits. I've just been so busy in the mind and now I feel icky because my period... I need to push past these excuses. I will keep you posted.

Namaste.

Updating... Updating... Hi I'm Penny!

So I had written this on Friday while on my lunch break at work but the weekend happened which, for me, is: work, being tired, tidying up the apartment, and trying to get in some much needed social time. But, here it is along with my current measurements and a picture of all that's going on here in our little family (though I think once you have two kids -ahem- pets it's a normal size family).

This is what I see when I do my forward fold. 

I want to say right away that Penny is doing great. Alex and I took her to the vet on Thursday and they gave her antibiotics for what they believe is an upper respiratory infection. Afterwards we took her to this beautiful dog park in downtown Tampa. At first she just wanted to smell everything but then other dogs came and she sprinted to play with them. I don't believe I've vet felt so nervous. It was my first time ever at a dog park let alone at a dog park with a dog. The first meeting between dogs at the park is very interesting yet frightening because it starts friendly but then they make growl-y bark noises and it's just frightful. Proves I'm a cat person because although I love Penny and all animals, I don't enjoy that part of dogs-- that inherent nature for territory, boundaries, and sometimes aggression. Of course a well trained dog will have all these natural instincts minimized and controlled. Penny isn't aggressive but I strongly believe she has much to learn before I feel entirel comfortable with her with other dogs and other dogs with her.

Also at the dog park we met a nice woman named Gabbie. I am so happy to have met her because it's been so long since I've met someone new who is so open to new people and wants to get to know them. We stayed at the park for two hours talking with her and watching Penny play with the other dogs. I wish I had taken pictures but you know how it can be when you're having a grand time; you're in that moment-- like really in that moment-- and you don't worry about preserving the memory of how gorgeous the day was or how cute Penny looked while having a grand time. 

It truly was a lovely afternoon and even though Penny got paw blisters and she's super pooped I know she will be happy to go back again. 

I was super tired too and almost forgot that I had made plans with Kaitlin. Luckily I still had my I'm-so-tired-that-I'm-awake-again energy to hang out. It's always worth it to lose some sleep for friends. Especially when you don't get to see them often. 

Oh! I almost forgot to share that we re making great progress between Penny and Rinpoche. What we did to get Rinpoche comfortable again was put up a baby gate between the kitchen and bedroom and feed them both at the same time on opposite sides of the gate. Rinpoche was so unsure at first and continues to be hesitant about being in view or proximity of Penny but he eats his food wherever we place the bowl now. He's also left the bedroom. We took down the baby gate because he was sitting at it like a prisoner even though he could easily jump over. Now he explores areas where Penny is as long as we are there too.

One of the best pictures I've ever taken. My heart, my soul, my spirit.

Since Alex and I went home for a couple of days to see family and friends, and adopted Penny, I haven't had the chance to head over to the Rec Center. I miss my weights. More-so now, though, I miss riding my bicycle. My tube and tire blew up two nights ago so Alex and I headed over to Target to get replacements. Unfortunately, the new tube managed to pop on me, too. Both explosions occurred while in the apartment while immobile. I think my bicycle is giving up on me-- it knows I'm saving up for a new one. I'm not sure what bicycle I'll be getting but I know it's one with a step-through frame so I can hop on easier. I also know it will not be single speed nor fixed gear. I like my gears. I like adjusting to the situation and being able to press on breaks.
So I'm missing the gym but I signed up for an Amrit Yoga class tonight. I'm not sure what to expect as none of the yoga classes I have been to have claimed to be Amrit. From what I read it sounds like it's about holding the postures, breathing and meditation. I myself am a Vinyasa girl (breathing with change of poses/motions) but it's good to try different approaches to the practice.

My measurements:

9.5" biceps

39.25" shoulders

33" chest

29.5" underbust

26" waist

35.75" hips

37" butt

21.5" thighs

13.5" calves

Can't forget a Rinpoche fan-pleasing picture!:

Princess Penny

There's been a lot going on for quite some time now and although I have felt overwhelmed and stressed out, there's a new little angel in my life and her name is Penny. She's so sweet and gentle and literally asks for nothing. She just gives and gives kisses and snuggles. 

Alex and I took her home from Hillsborough County Animal Services on Friday and hopped onto a roller coaster of cuteness and swelling love. It was the least convenient time to get her since we had already arranged to go home to Port Saint Lucie for a couple days but, luckily, Penny wins over every heart she encounters and Alex's friends agreed to care for her while we were gone.

At first she stole Rinpoche's bed (not tt he ever used it) instead of using the doggie pillow I hand-sewed for her. Now she uses both and loves to snuggle with a blanket. We want to get her toys but she shows so little interest in them. We'll keep trying, I'm sure there are toys out there that she'll like.

So here she is, the compassionate princess of the house:

Pharrell William's Happy is so Penny's song when we brought her home.

As for Rinpoche, well... he's not so happy. He's very nervous and I feel awful because he won't come out to play. Thankfully Alex has found a helpful video that explains the proper way of getting him used to having a dog in the house. To be entirely honest I'm very worried that he'll never be playful like he was again... and that breaks my heart. My mom said that when he was at home he came out with Sheba out and about so it's most likely that, with time and adjustment, he'll leave the bedroom. Many of you saw Rinpoche's cute bed time picture I shared on Twitter recently (if not, it's in my feed on the right side menu of my blog), but here's what happens when you put flash for a picture of a kitty. Dun Dun DUN.

I realize I'm due for my measurements but I'm going to leave that for tomorrow's post. Things are heating up with the race to abs so hopefully Alex and I will both be on our game.

Stay dry out there, Floridians!

Namaste.

Geo-caching and Adventure!

While I've been down in the dumps due to the fault of my wonky emotional conscious brain, I've been doing my best to live life and enjoy the adventure of everyday. I'm noticing that writing really helps and taking photographs also helps me to appreciate the now more and more. Looking back through Blondie's (my iPhone) camera roll, I saw that I have yet to share one of the most magical, air-purifying adventures that I've ever been on-- one of the best dates I've ever been on. For Valentine's Day Alex took me to Alafia River State Park, only about a forty-minute drive from our apartment. He was surprised that I was surprised because he had thought I already knew we were going hiking. I had told him I wanted to do something out-doorsy but I didn't have a clue that we were actually going on an adventure!
Once we arrived, we were greeted at the gate by a very happy and informative park-gate lady. We purchased a cool patch for Alex's collection and learned that they just created a new geo-cache. Now I've never been geo-caching before but let me tell you now that it's like a treasure hunt where the treasure is actually finding the box (sometimes what's inside the box can be rewarding too but, trust me, the reward for finding the more difficult ones really was just finding them). The first geo-cache we did was supposed to be the most difficult and boy did we have fun. Smart phones may have GPS and compasses on them but when you're out in nature there's only so much that a satellite can do for you. I mean, I can't expect Blondie to see me through a canopy of trees or the interference of nature's essence. So for this first geo-cache really was the most difficult because we were gaining our bearings and figuring out whether our phones were actually pointing us in the correct direction or if this box was somewhere up in the tree above us. When we finally got our phones to find us, and we had circled and paced back and forth between brush and those short-palm-tree-like-trees-that-alex-would-know-their-name, we found this cute, only slightly hidden box.

What we found inside was fairly random: a baseball card, random cards, a log book, and Mcdonald's toys (I wonder how interesting it would be to find that toy many years from now and not know what it is?) What I thought to be of most value was the log book. Writing down our names made me feel like I'm a part of something. And it's wonderful to think that it connects us to others who are on the same adventure, finding different things and leaving behind others. None of the other boxes were actually boxes but they were still all very fun to search for.

The last one we were looking for took the most time to find and we nearly left without finding it. We searched high and low but couldn't get closer than a big hill because our phones would absolutely lose us underneath the tree canopy. In the end Alex did find it though. We must have stepped over it numerous times and passed by it a dozen. It was a camouflage contain and boy does that stuff work! For sure we left a silly note inside the log about what fun we had finding it.

Prior to the geo-caching we enjoyed a nice hike around the main hiking trail, saw beautiful ferns, and (of course!) a couple turtles. We also encountered a father with two boys whom we admired and hoped to be similar to when we became parents. Those boys were so excited to be outdoors and they were just happy to be with their dad. Showing your kids a good time doesn't have to cost a butt load of money, it just costs time and love-- love for the world around you. 

While I had the most amazing time hunting for hidden boxes and breathing in the fresh air, I know that my biggest adventure continues on and happens every day. My life with Alex will always be my favorite adventure. 

Reaching Up & Out With Hope

So this past week went better than the last. I made it to the gym twice (but did full-body workouts both times). I also went for a nice bike ride with Alex and did my homework. On Saturday I took the day off from work to spend with my parents. I was so happy to see them and spend quality time. Dress shopping for my brother's wedding and mini-golfing were both a success. I wish I could have spent a little more time with my dad but I think time with my mom is what I needed I've missed her so much and I've been worrying about her. My grandmother has been in and out of the hospital twice last week... and it makes me happy that my brother and I pushed my mom to visit her for Christmas. Now I hope she can visit her once more while she can... but if we don't have money then that isn't going to happen.
I'm pretty torn up when I think about it for too long. I wish I could be there for my mom but I'm sure my dad is comforting her the best he can. I just... I'm having a hard time writing things down lately because emotionally I am disappointing myself. I do my yoga but what once brought me utter clarity brings me pain because I am troubled by thoughts of not ever becoming a yoga instructor because I won't ever be good enough. I'm also troubled by my breathing; it's become a challenge to have healthy deep breaths and I believe it's due to my deviated septum that has recently become more prominent... I really need to talk to my mom about it and maybe getting surgery done while I'm still on their insurance. To breath with ease would be a gift.
As I've mentioned at the beginning of my post, I have managed to get myself to the gym-- not as often as I like but I've gotten myself there and I'm proud of it Unfortunately it's losing its flair... being around people but still being alone is worse than actually being at home alone because how does one initiate conversation towards becoming acquaintances? It's hard not making new friends.
Alex is my best friend and I think I'd be twice as crazy as I am now without him. Yet I still wish for a friend to go to the gym with, talk about boys, paint our nails together... just hang out. I don't know what to do; I feel like I've forgotten how to make new friends. I was so lucky in undergrad to meet Kaitlin... joining a sorority didn't bring me as many life long friends as I thought but I still got her and I'm happy I did. She made being in Tallahassee enjoyable and school better. Maybe I should try joining another sorority... or just a club. I don't know what club I'd get on well with or even how I'd have time to actually be a part of a sorority... I can barely get my school work done and have enough energy to be a good girlfriend or go to work.

I'm just feeling lost I think. I feel maybe I've made a wrong turn with my career path choice... but when I think of other options I think maybe I'd feel the same on any one of those roads, unless they involved me more. There's so many things I enjoy and would like to continue doing or start doing but they have little to do with librarianship... I don't know what's happened other than change. I love to be outdoors and explore. I love riding bicycles with Alex. I love painting. I love being with friends. I love to bake. I love cute things. I love working with plants. I love animals and helping others... I can help others through librarianship yet I'm worried I won't be any good at it. I'm worried I won't find a job that will want someone that is good at librarianship and likes to help others but doesn't want anything to do with the politics of government and hierarchy of the work place. I don't think they'll want someone who only did okay in school because she wanted to actually live life instead of reading lifeless books about management and theories. I don't think they would want me; they want the cramped-in-a-box me... I need to find a way to be free and still have a career to pay off my debts and have money to live comfortably.
I wish I knew how to better sort my thoughts. I used to be good at it.
Enough of my sob story, I'm sorry readers if you've come this far with me only to become annoyed with my work and probably never read again. I need to start blogging my thoughts the day of something interesting. I still have geo-caching to write about. I also have my apple pie and vegan chicken-noodle imitation soup to post about.
I'm not going to give up though. I'm going to keep writing... maybe someday I can make something out of all this.

So once again I don't have a picture of myself because underwear is unacceptable to show to the world and I was lazy about taking a picture. It's a little exciting looking at these measurements versus the past ones because I really think doing full body twice a week has significantly been better than the past weeks workout methods. Now I just need to make myself do something every day (cardio).
Here's my measurements:

39.75" shoulders
9.5" biceps
33" chest
29" under bust
26.5" waist
36.5" hips
37" butt
21.5" thighs
13.75" calves