Namaste, 2015

It would be an over statement to say that this past year has been filled with decisions and change. This year, though unique in its own right, has been much like the past years. Making a life for yourself and living is filled with change and decisions. I may only be 23 but I see many more ahead, for decades to come. While the decisions I am making now cause much more of an immediate effect now than previous choices, I know that everything I do and say all adds up to make me who I am in this moment. And this moment as well. 

There are moments and times that cause me sadness when I look back on them but I cannot allow them to be a part of the now. Those moments have passed and I accept that they happened. I was in a steady depression at the beginning of 2014. Thanks to the love of my life partner, Alex, and our children, friends, and family I have regained my cheerful heart. There are still moments of sadness I find but the trick is to take a deep breath and let it go. The sadness serves me not and it certainly doesn't help anyone else. 

I foresee a rocky year ahead of me, one of tight finances but broad possibilities of growth and adventure. This time in the past I would make selfish wishes but now, my deepest wish is to grow spiritually not so that I may elevate myself in some way but to be more giving and understanding. Many of you may say I am a good person and while these are kind words, I feel I have yet to live up to the compliment. This year I hope to become better at giving all that I can. I hope to achieve a state in my yoga that will allow me to help reach out to others seeking peace and restore their faith in themselves. My deepest wish is for love-- for all beings to feel it engulf them and fill their lives with hope and generosity.

With a few minutes to midnight, the stamp of a new year according to society but just another day for the universe, I send out all the positive energy I can muster to make these next few moments be as special as you hope. I send out the warmth of my friendship with the understanding that any moment can be special, any day can be life-changing. You don't have to wait for new years to start anew and make big changes, but it doesn't hurt to use it as a good excuse.

I wish you all a Happy New Year. 

The life force within me acknowledges the same life force within you.

(Namaste).

Free of True Freedom Is What Binds Us

The moment when you accept that you you were never going to fit into society the way you believed you were supposed to is the moment you realize it was never going to make you happy anyway. Here's to moving past what society believes is success and towards compassion.
If all we have is this one life, shouldn't it be spent feeling happy as often as possible? If we move past the expectations of society then we can free ourselves. We don't have to work a desk job the rest of our lives. Live your life, accept the consequences of change. I was brought up to fear consequences and change but they are a necessity to life.
I want to break free. Won't you join me?

For the New Year, For Now, For the Next Moment

While this year has certainly lacked in writing, I have done more reading than I have in quite some time. So while my blog has sat idle for many days, I feel nourished with information and ideas. My desires are more clear than ever before and I'm making strides every day to live the life I choose. 

Some days are more challenging than others and some days I really struggle to get going. My not so secret secret to being happy most of the time? Understanding that I can't be happy all the time and that anything that's stressful or seemingly negative is a part of my life. Every moment I breathe I am living. 

When we are kids we are asked what we want to be when we grow up. The question that should be asked is who do we want to be right now? In reality, children don't understand the limitations that the world beyond mom and dad's love and security. Anything is possible when we are children yet as children we just want to grow up. So while a child may say they want to be a princess or a teacher when they grow up, when they actually do grow up all they want is that freedom to just dream. 

Instead of asking what we want to be when we grow up, let's ask something more realistic. What do you want to do today? Who do you want to be? Today is forever what we have. So live your life. Don't waste all your time dreaming; be whoever you want to be today. Every moment you breathe you are living. 

It's scary because that puts a lot of pressure amongst all the necessities of living in society. You have to work, keep your home clean, care for your family, etc. I'm not saying quit your job and leave your family so you can go to the Himalayas and find yourself. (All this would do is reveal that, while the scenery of the mountains is breath taking, the only air you wish to breathe is right next to your family and loved ones). What I'm saying is, keep your moments. Read about what truly interests you; ask questions; make a mental note to call your brother then actually do it when you get home; if you want to help others volunteer at a soup kitchen or bring a hobo a blanket (even if he probably won't be there when you come back with it); tell your mother you love her whenever you can; reach out to family even though you have no established connection; use lulling moments of watching television for doing kalestetics instead; take your dog for a walk instead of eating that pint of ice cream because you're bored or lonely. 

Live every breath and be present. Feel the music of life all around you. Break free from ruts even if what you must do is frightening. (Leave your cubicle job for one that makes you happy even if it pays less-- that big house isn't making you happy so why not move and have less expenses to cover?)

Take a deep breathe, sigh it out quickly. 

Take another deep breathe, let it go slowly. 

The new year, or this next moment, or this one and this one, can be a place in time where you consider happiness and release anything that does not serve you. I say release because you are what's holding onto it. No emotion exists unless you feed it.