Magic

Tomorrow is the party and there's so much left to do. I need to paint and assemble some hangy things for the bar area, see if I need to make more cupcakes, finish my apron, shave, get fresh cilantro for the salsa, clean up the floors, and get some sleep. 

I don't know if it's because I've been doing so many things at once but emotionally I have been having a roller coaster ride. Between feeling down and feeling hopeful and excited (for the party as well as for ThanksgiveChristmas) I have too many extremes. I need to put myself back into balance and remember to enjoy life all around me. Life isn't a list of chores and errands; it's the very wind that blows a single hair into your eye but without that you never would have looked up and saw the last flower blooming. 

I read a post from Humans of NY on Facebook and it was about a man who's favorite time was when he was a kid. When you're a kid everything has this magical air to it; you're always discovering new things and coming up with new questions. He said that that's the last time he was utterly happy and I thought, why does the magic stop? Why don't we just continue on with the wonder of the world in our eyes? What happens to take away such a beautiful connection to everything around us?

My mother has said in the past that you never really grow up, you just gain more responsibility. Now as an adult, I see it is the responsibility and haunting ness of reality that can weigh you down. But what if each day we look for or imagine one magical thing (it doesn't have to be fairies-- it could be that feeling you get when you wake up and you feel the first day of fall). Drink up whatever you can of that feeling of awe, and use it as your energy. If something negative happens, shoo it away with your magic. 

I don't think it's possible to really be a child again but you can definitely question and stand in awe at the magic all around you like a child. That television you watch? What makes that work? Waves and electricity. Magic.