Feel the 'Sakti

OM Gam Ganapataye Namaha

I've said it in previous posts, my life has been spinning fast.
All around me, the world seems to move in fast forward and time has never been so precious. I see my day pass at work as if through a window. I try to keep busy, reading articles and doing whatever on the computer. For the most part I lack stimulation as an assistant and I don't really do much of anything when I am working at USF. I have been working every day, with the graciousness of the holidays off to keep me sane, but I've felt worn like a sweater in an endless dryer cycle-- a small part of me brushed away against the lint catch. The thought of leaving USF and keeping to Clearwater has crossed my mind numerous times and has been taken under serious consideration time and time again.
These past weeks I have found my mind shaken by stress and the overwhelming responsibilities of being a grown up. Friday night I reached inside myself and had a taste of the peace within me, my true self sitting in the oasis of my being.

Quieting my mind was more of a challenge than usual this past YTT weekend. The ghost of Tim's presence lingered everywhere I turned: the smell of lilies that bloomed too late for the funeral, the white birds returning to the pond, the chill in the air of a warm room; reminders of the energy he left behind.
I spent the weekend battling inside me, accepting the comfort of my friends' presence, and reminding myself of the revelations I had come to over the past two weeks. It wasn't until Sunday when the weekend had reached its dusk and we were handed mala beads that my mind settled in.
OM Gam Ganapataye Namaha. A mantra for removing obstacles.
The vibrations of every syllable, the brush of each bead on my thumb and the comfort of my sangha... I was finally home, in my mothers arms, listening to her heart beating-- the kiss of a drum's music stroking my ears.

Wherever my path weaves and bends, I'm taking it one step at a time.

OM Gam Ganapataye Namaha. This mantra follows me into the new year as I face the decisions and challenges ahead.