Thoughts Preceding Yoga Classes

From magazinehive.com

As many of you already know I will be starting my Yoga Teacher Training in a couple of weeks.

I am filled with excitement for this prospect to finally come into fruition. I do have a lot of hopes for what I will accomplish and I'm not sure how much I will gain in mind and body.

There is a saying "If your dreams don't scare you, they aren't big enough." My dreams are pretty big because among my undeniable excitement is a distinct chilling presence of fear.
I'm afraid that I may not be good enough, or that, despite my capabilities, I will not be accepted anywhere to teach.
I have been addressing my fears for three years or so and, with the money down and my head in the books for this program, fear can't stop me now. I just hope I can make my body strong enough to perform the demands of my mind.

I know what to expect for the most part but I have been told that the experience I am about to participate in will be life-changing. Everyone I have met so far has been very kind and helpful and, in all honesty, I really hope to establish new friendships both in and outside of the program. It's really tough making friends when there are very limited interactions... and it's even more tough being so far from those I already hold close to my heart.

I have noticed that these struggles with establishing friendships and relationships are becoming more and more common in today's society. I have read numerous articles on the disconnect between people and how maybe technology contributes to that. Do we have our eyes on the screen so often that we miss chances? Do we let our lives pass us by?
I feel like we have good uses for our technologies, but agree that we do need to separate ourselves from it more often. I know that I need to revitalize my spirit every now and then with the fresh air of the outdoors. Camping, hiking, biking, canoeing-- it's all a way for me to slow down and just take in the world around me. It re-centers me and reminds me of what matters most.
Do you get enough fresh air?

Monsanto Ramble-Tamble, A Bee Just Died

What's really sad is... I'm not even sure where to start. When I read this article earlier today I felt the fury I generally feel towards the results of greed. I'm still not sure how to express such frustration and every time i learn more I feel more trapped by this country. Yes we have the right to freedom of speech but what does it matter when our words do so little for our planet? What does it all matter when we can't even buy produce without worrying about the effects of the pesticides? Oh wait, that's right: to the U.S. food is now grown but PRODUCED. Food isn't something the Earth provides-- it's something we make ourselves, something that is created and assembled at a factory. For so many Americans, this is the cold truth. So many people don't even know that there is other produce out there that Walmart doesn't sell. Most people would be shocked or grossed out to learn that there is such a thing as a purple carrot. This is a naturally occurring plant of nature. Nature. The Earth. From the ground. A ground without overuse. A ground without pesticides and dead bees. I digress. This purple carrot is perfectly good to eat and has more nutrients than the standard 'orange' carrot.
I'm given all this freedom in America, like the freedom to write this post, but why is it such a damn challenge to give the people real food without concern for their health in the long run? Why is it so damn difficult to allow farmers to be competitive and use their own seeds? Why is it fucking allowed to spray plants meant for consumption with toxins that kill bees? Why is there such a high demand for beautiful green lawns and not enough desire for raised beds that could yield enough food to feed a family for dinner? Greed. God damned greed and pompousness.
I think this one is pretty close to how I'm feeling:

On a different note, but still on the ridiculousness of industry importance over the health of the entire planet (ALL animals included), I also know that charging fees to those who get all the energy they need for solar panels is fucking ridiculous. I also know that saying that someone has to be connected to the grid for electricity even though they won't be using it is ridiculous. This country isn't about the American Dream-- not the one we grow up believing in. This country is about supporting BUSINESS and COMPANIES. $$$$. 

But there are good people here. There are good people here in the United States trying to live a healthy, happy life while preserving precious resources and the Earth herself. I know that we are all busy scrambling and trying to be involved in the life that our society says we need to lead. I know that the last thing you think you should be concerned about is what apples you're picking up at the grocery store. The sad truth is that we do need to research before we buy. We do need to learn how to self-sustain. When everything goes to hell, by golly we need to know how to grow food.

I'm done with that shpeal. I do apologize for two in one day. Other than getting fire-y on the ridiculousness of monsanto and what the U.S. will allow, my day was pretty good. We had good sales at the store.
When I got home Alex and I took Penny for a walk then encountered another couple with a dog. They actually had their dog roaming free in a field so we let Penny of the lease and she had a ball (though the other dog was timid). I wish our walk was longer, especially since I just finished eating cookies that are going to go straight to my pooch and thighs. We had a good dinner though: curry spiced cauliflower and various veggies with spicy baked tilapia. Lately I've really been realizing my lack of activity and the difference between me now and me in undergrad. I used to walk so much more, not to mention go to the gym four times a week.
It's going to happen again. It has to because I can't allow myself to let my body go. I can't gain any more fat. I need to be healthy and respect my body-- not throw garbage into it.

Here's to an interesting rest of the weekend.

Geo-caching and Adventure!

While I've been down in the dumps due to the fault of my wonky emotional conscious brain, I've been doing my best to live life and enjoy the adventure of everyday. I'm noticing that writing really helps and taking photographs also helps me to appreciate the now more and more. Looking back through Blondie's (my iPhone) camera roll, I saw that I have yet to share one of the most magical, air-purifying adventures that I've ever been on-- one of the best dates I've ever been on. For Valentine's Day Alex took me to Alafia River State Park, only about a forty-minute drive from our apartment. He was surprised that I was surprised because he had thought I already knew we were going hiking. I had told him I wanted to do something out-doorsy but I didn't have a clue that we were actually going on an adventure!
Once we arrived, we were greeted at the gate by a very happy and informative park-gate lady. We purchased a cool patch for Alex's collection and learned that they just created a new geo-cache. Now I've never been geo-caching before but let me tell you now that it's like a treasure hunt where the treasure is actually finding the box (sometimes what's inside the box can be rewarding too but, trust me, the reward for finding the more difficult ones really was just finding them). The first geo-cache we did was supposed to be the most difficult and boy did we have fun. Smart phones may have GPS and compasses on them but when you're out in nature there's only so much that a satellite can do for you. I mean, I can't expect Blondie to see me through a canopy of trees or the interference of nature's essence. So for this first geo-cache really was the most difficult because we were gaining our bearings and figuring out whether our phones were actually pointing us in the correct direction or if this box was somewhere up in the tree above us. When we finally got our phones to find us, and we had circled and paced back and forth between brush and those short-palm-tree-like-trees-that-alex-would-know-their-name, we found this cute, only slightly hidden box.

What we found inside was fairly random: a baseball card, random cards, a log book, and Mcdonald's toys (I wonder how interesting it would be to find that toy many years from now and not know what it is?) What I thought to be of most value was the log book. Writing down our names made me feel like I'm a part of something. And it's wonderful to think that it connects us to others who are on the same adventure, finding different things and leaving behind others. None of the other boxes were actually boxes but they were still all very fun to search for.

The last one we were looking for took the most time to find and we nearly left without finding it. We searched high and low but couldn't get closer than a big hill because our phones would absolutely lose us underneath the tree canopy. In the end Alex did find it though. We must have stepped over it numerous times and passed by it a dozen. It was a camouflage contain and boy does that stuff work! For sure we left a silly note inside the log about what fun we had finding it.

Prior to the geo-caching we enjoyed a nice hike around the main hiking trail, saw beautiful ferns, and (of course!) a couple turtles. We also encountered a father with two boys whom we admired and hoped to be similar to when we became parents. Those boys were so excited to be outdoors and they were just happy to be with their dad. Showing your kids a good time doesn't have to cost a butt load of money, it just costs time and love-- love for the world around you. 

While I had the most amazing time hunting for hidden boxes and breathing in the fresh air, I know that my biggest adventure continues on and happens every day. My life with Alex will always be my favorite adventure.