Thoughts Preceding Yoga Classes

From magazinehive.com

As many of you already know I will be starting my Yoga Teacher Training in a couple of weeks.

I am filled with excitement for this prospect to finally come into fruition. I do have a lot of hopes for what I will accomplish and I'm not sure how much I will gain in mind and body.

There is a saying "If your dreams don't scare you, they aren't big enough." My dreams are pretty big because among my undeniable excitement is a distinct chilling presence of fear.
I'm afraid that I may not be good enough, or that, despite my capabilities, I will not be accepted anywhere to teach.
I have been addressing my fears for three years or so and, with the money down and my head in the books for this program, fear can't stop me now. I just hope I can make my body strong enough to perform the demands of my mind.

I know what to expect for the most part but I have been told that the experience I am about to participate in will be life-changing. Everyone I have met so far has been very kind and helpful and, in all honesty, I really hope to establish new friendships both in and outside of the program. It's really tough making friends when there are very limited interactions... and it's even more tough being so far from those I already hold close to my heart.

I have noticed that these struggles with establishing friendships and relationships are becoming more and more common in today's society. I have read numerous articles on the disconnect between people and how maybe technology contributes to that. Do we have our eyes on the screen so often that we miss chances? Do we let our lives pass us by?
I feel like we have good uses for our technologies, but agree that we do need to separate ourselves from it more often. I know that I need to revitalize my spirit every now and then with the fresh air of the outdoors. Camping, hiking, biking, canoeing-- it's all a way for me to slow down and just take in the world around me. It re-centers me and reminds me of what matters most.
Do you get enough fresh air?

Monsanto Ramble-Tamble, A Bee Just Died

What's really sad is... I'm not even sure where to start. When I read this article earlier today I felt the fury I generally feel towards the results of greed. I'm still not sure how to express such frustration and every time i learn more I feel more trapped by this country. Yes we have the right to freedom of speech but what does it matter when our words do so little for our planet? What does it all matter when we can't even buy produce without worrying about the effects of the pesticides? Oh wait, that's right: to the U.S. food is now grown but PRODUCED. Food isn't something the Earth provides-- it's something we make ourselves, something that is created and assembled at a factory. For so many Americans, this is the cold truth. So many people don't even know that there is other produce out there that Walmart doesn't sell. Most people would be shocked or grossed out to learn that there is such a thing as a purple carrot. This is a naturally occurring plant of nature. Nature. The Earth. From the ground. A ground without overuse. A ground without pesticides and dead bees. I digress. This purple carrot is perfectly good to eat and has more nutrients than the standard 'orange' carrot.
I'm given all this freedom in America, like the freedom to write this post, but why is it such a damn challenge to give the people real food without concern for their health in the long run? Why is it so damn difficult to allow farmers to be competitive and use their own seeds? Why is it fucking allowed to spray plants meant for consumption with toxins that kill bees? Why is there such a high demand for beautiful green lawns and not enough desire for raised beds that could yield enough food to feed a family for dinner? Greed. God damned greed and pompousness.
I think this one is pretty close to how I'm feeling:

On a different note, but still on the ridiculousness of industry importance over the health of the entire planet (ALL animals included), I also know that charging fees to those who get all the energy they need for solar panels is fucking ridiculous. I also know that saying that someone has to be connected to the grid for electricity even though they won't be using it is ridiculous. This country isn't about the American Dream-- not the one we grow up believing in. This country is about supporting BUSINESS and COMPANIES. $$$$. 

But there are good people here. There are good people here in the United States trying to live a healthy, happy life while preserving precious resources and the Earth herself. I know that we are all busy scrambling and trying to be involved in the life that our society says we need to lead. I know that the last thing you think you should be concerned about is what apples you're picking up at the grocery store. The sad truth is that we do need to research before we buy. We do need to learn how to self-sustain. When everything goes to hell, by golly we need to know how to grow food.

I'm done with that shpeal. I do apologize for two in one day. Other than getting fire-y on the ridiculousness of monsanto and what the U.S. will allow, my day was pretty good. We had good sales at the store.
When I got home Alex and I took Penny for a walk then encountered another couple with a dog. They actually had their dog roaming free in a field so we let Penny of the lease and she had a ball (though the other dog was timid). I wish our walk was longer, especially since I just finished eating cookies that are going to go straight to my pooch and thighs. We had a good dinner though: curry spiced cauliflower and various veggies with spicy baked tilapia. Lately I've really been realizing my lack of activity and the difference between me now and me in undergrad. I used to walk so much more, not to mention go to the gym four times a week.
It's going to happen again. It has to because I can't allow myself to let my body go. I can't gain any more fat. I need to be healthy and respect my body-- not throw garbage into it.

Here's to an interesting rest of the weekend.