Princess Penny

There's been a lot going on for quite some time now and although I have felt overwhelmed and stressed out, there's a new little angel in my life and her name is Penny. She's so sweet and gentle and literally asks for nothing. She just gives and gives kisses and snuggles. 

Alex and I took her home from Hillsborough County Animal Services on Friday and hopped onto a roller coaster of cuteness and swelling love. It was the least convenient time to get her since we had already arranged to go home to Port Saint Lucie for a couple days but, luckily, Penny wins over every heart she encounters and Alex's friends agreed to care for her while we were gone.

At first she stole Rinpoche's bed (not tt he ever used it) instead of using the doggie pillow I hand-sewed for her. Now she uses both and loves to snuggle with a blanket. We want to get her toys but she shows so little interest in them. We'll keep trying, I'm sure there are toys out there that she'll like.

So here she is, the compassionate princess of the house:

Pharrell William's Happy is so Penny's song when we brought her home.

As for Rinpoche, well... he's not so happy. He's very nervous and I feel awful because he won't come out to play. Thankfully Alex has found a helpful video that explains the proper way of getting him used to having a dog in the house. To be entirely honest I'm very worried that he'll never be playful like he was again... and that breaks my heart. My mom said that when he was at home he came out with Sheba out and about so it's most likely that, with time and adjustment, he'll leave the bedroom. Many of you saw Rinpoche's cute bed time picture I shared on Twitter recently (if not, it's in my feed on the right side menu of my blog), but here's what happens when you put flash for a picture of a kitty. Dun Dun DUN.

I realize I'm due for my measurements but I'm going to leave that for tomorrow's post. Things are heating up with the race to abs so hopefully Alex and I will both be on our game.

Stay dry out there, Floridians!

Namaste.

Reaching Up & Out With Hope

So this past week went better than the last. I made it to the gym twice (but did full-body workouts both times). I also went for a nice bike ride with Alex and did my homework. On Saturday I took the day off from work to spend with my parents. I was so happy to see them and spend quality time. Dress shopping for my brother's wedding and mini-golfing were both a success. I wish I could have spent a little more time with my dad but I think time with my mom is what I needed I've missed her so much and I've been worrying about her. My grandmother has been in and out of the hospital twice last week... and it makes me happy that my brother and I pushed my mom to visit her for Christmas. Now I hope she can visit her once more while she can... but if we don't have money then that isn't going to happen.
I'm pretty torn up when I think about it for too long. I wish I could be there for my mom but I'm sure my dad is comforting her the best he can. I just... I'm having a hard time writing things down lately because emotionally I am disappointing myself. I do my yoga but what once brought me utter clarity brings me pain because I am troubled by thoughts of not ever becoming a yoga instructor because I won't ever be good enough. I'm also troubled by my breathing; it's become a challenge to have healthy deep breaths and I believe it's due to my deviated septum that has recently become more prominent... I really need to talk to my mom about it and maybe getting surgery done while I'm still on their insurance. To breath with ease would be a gift.
As I've mentioned at the beginning of my post, I have managed to get myself to the gym-- not as often as I like but I've gotten myself there and I'm proud of it Unfortunately it's losing its flair... being around people but still being alone is worse than actually being at home alone because how does one initiate conversation towards becoming acquaintances? It's hard not making new friends.
Alex is my best friend and I think I'd be twice as crazy as I am now without him. Yet I still wish for a friend to go to the gym with, talk about boys, paint our nails together... just hang out. I don't know what to do; I feel like I've forgotten how to make new friends. I was so lucky in undergrad to meet Kaitlin... joining a sorority didn't bring me as many life long friends as I thought but I still got her and I'm happy I did. She made being in Tallahassee enjoyable and school better. Maybe I should try joining another sorority... or just a club. I don't know what club I'd get on well with or even how I'd have time to actually be a part of a sorority... I can barely get my school work done and have enough energy to be a good girlfriend or go to work.

I'm just feeling lost I think. I feel maybe I've made a wrong turn with my career path choice... but when I think of other options I think maybe I'd feel the same on any one of those roads, unless they involved me more. There's so many things I enjoy and would like to continue doing or start doing but they have little to do with librarianship... I don't know what's happened other than change. I love to be outdoors and explore. I love riding bicycles with Alex. I love painting. I love being with friends. I love to bake. I love cute things. I love working with plants. I love animals and helping others... I can help others through librarianship yet I'm worried I won't be any good at it. I'm worried I won't find a job that will want someone that is good at librarianship and likes to help others but doesn't want anything to do with the politics of government and hierarchy of the work place. I don't think they'll want someone who only did okay in school because she wanted to actually live life instead of reading lifeless books about management and theories. I don't think they would want me; they want the cramped-in-a-box me... I need to find a way to be free and still have a career to pay off my debts and have money to live comfortably.
I wish I knew how to better sort my thoughts. I used to be good at it.
Enough of my sob story, I'm sorry readers if you've come this far with me only to become annoyed with my work and probably never read again. I need to start blogging my thoughts the day of something interesting. I still have geo-caching to write about. I also have my apple pie and vegan chicken-noodle imitation soup to post about.
I'm not going to give up though. I'm going to keep writing... maybe someday I can make something out of all this.

So once again I don't have a picture of myself because underwear is unacceptable to show to the world and I was lazy about taking a picture. It's a little exciting looking at these measurements versus the past ones because I really think doing full body twice a week has significantly been better than the past weeks workout methods. Now I just need to make myself do something every day (cardio).
Here's my measurements:

39.75" shoulders
9.5" biceps
33" chest
29" under bust
26.5" waist
36.5" hips
37" butt
21.5" thighs
13.75" calves

Breathing and Showing

After finally getting settled, I've done my first morning of yoga. Yes, reader, it's been a while. My gosh I've missed it. I shouldn't be surprised; yoga is beneficial to the mind body and spirit. The flow of the breath and body, the concentration and relaxation of the mind-- it's all utterly and magnificently tiring yet energizing. Because it's been a while, my arms and legs continue to shake after my practice. It's addicting, this soreness, and I don't see why I ever allowed myself to blah out of it. Probably the unsteady work schedule of the movie theater. Now that I can nearly make my entire schedule, I can fit it in when I need to.
As for being mostly vegan, it's going okay... minus the ice cream, fish, and eggs. Okay, so I'm the world's worst vegan but at least I admit it. I make an effort to get protein in other ways, it's just tough when all those processed vegan burgers/patties/crumbles and hummus get me gassy. It's not pleasant so I try other routes like almond milk, peanut butter, peanuts, sometimes almonds (but those are expensive and I'm a broke college student again), as well as legumes. I'm trying new recipes so we'll see how it goes.
So you've all been waiting to see my new apartment and I've been wanting to show you but, unfortunately, I'm very much like my mother and prefer to only show my home when it's clean and tidy. Now that's it's finally okay to display to the public, here are the pictures you've all been waiting for.

Hehe, I caught Capn' Merrica.

Movin' On In

So we re finally here in Tampa! It's our first morning and we still have quite a bit of unpacking to do.  The best way to do it? One room at a time. If there's more than one set of arms to unpack, have one work on the bedroom so when you're tired you can pass out without having to push a bunch of boxes off the bed. Alex and I both tried working on the bedroom together but it works out better to let each person put their personal items and clothes away individually. I let him put his stuff in first since he had more boxes to go through and I was antsy to get the kitchen unpacked and setup. I can't wait to show you, guys! You may have to wait until tomorrow to see because I still gotta unpack my clothes and we need to setup the desk/computers/TV stuff. And get rid of boxes. And find screws to put up wall hangings (that may have to wait until our next trip to Walmart).

Speaking of Walmart, there is too high a number of crappy Walmarts... Seriously. Back in Tally, the one all the way up Monroe was small but at least it had the full grocery section and a decent size of everything else! This Walmart on Dale Malbry had a laughably small "produce section." I put quotes because I can't really call three of the black bin stands with hardly any produce a real section. Then there was so little of even boxed foods! Can you say cray? I thought they'd gotten rid of all the crappy Walmarts. I guess Tampa holds on to old things well. 

Anywho, I'm excited to be here and so far it's going well. Still on the job hunt and still hoping Alex gets the transfer with Regal.  Fingers crossed for the Disney Store. 

Here's a peek at the living box room. 

Hope you have a great Saturday. I look forward to sharing my new home with you. 

Adaptation

When you don't have a gym with access to machines and weights, everything changes.

I've learned that, like any other routine, a workout must be flexible. We often rely too much on ellipticals tredmills and anything that is a product created by corporations to gain the focus of people in the workout community. 

I have loved the gym for some time now-- the atmosphere and all the equipment needed for easy dummy-proof fitness is available. But what happens when the gym is taken away? What happens when the person who is best at buying real food (produce-- the food earth provides for us) is stripped of their funds and they must rely on others who have the money but lack the understanding of the difference between food and a product?

In America everything has a price: fitness, food, and over-all well being. This is against the natural order of life yet Americans solute themselves with their negative nutrition meals and artificialized lives. 

At school I was in prime position for a healthy me-- I had the money to buy my own food and the schedule and location to workout. Now that I'm home I see I must be ever more flexible in my life. Life is change and diet and fitness are no different. 

If we are to survive and thrive as we choose, we must adapt. Adapt as creatures of earth are meant to. 

It's been tough dealing with less energy rich foods filled with simple carbs and sugars, while lacking the opportunities to burn it all off. I don't own a bicycle and I am literally about to step through my sneakers. On the occasions I have to lift at Alex's house, I do it wearing socks because my shoes provide instability as opposed to support. 

It's a big change and I need to create and force things if I have any hope of working towards where I want to be physically. 

Luckily I do have Alex and Colie, along with others, who support me in my decisions. I also have yoga. My mat may be physically falling apart but every time I step on and breathe, I feel the connection, the drive. I just have to find the way. 

As for food, I need to be more stern with my parents about what I actually eat. 

I hope your rainy Tuesday evening is going well. Maybe the sky will clear up for the stars tonight.