Relationship Advice From A Committed, Logical Woman

People talk about married couples' first fights and to be honest, I feel like the couple got married quick (not in a bad way) if they haven't yet had their first fight. When I say fight I mean a big argument that isn't solved or discussed right away. Alex and I only recently got into a fight and we've been together for two and a half years. I think it's important to have arguments and fights before you get married so you can learn to truly mend and set the relationship's course straight again without the 'safety net' that marriage can be. You shouldn't want to heal the rip just because you're married-- you should want it because you want your relationship to continue to grow (even after marriage) and to understand what happened so you can move on and live together harmoniously.

I know that there are statistics that say a high percentage of couples who move in together before marriage end up breaking up but shouldn't you move in and learn about your partner's at-home habits before deciding to spend the rest of your life with them? Yes you're going to find out all their quirks and some things you rather dislike about their cleanliness or just habits in general, but finding them out sooner allows you to decide whether you can deal and work with all of that. Do you love that person enough to accept everything that makes them who they are?
Alex and I will have lived together for a year in August and we've hit our bumps and found out quirks but we help and accept each other.

So, my advice to someone who's just at their first big fight (married or not) is to breathe, think about what's going on and make sure you're partner knows how you're feeling. Openness and honesty are crucial if you want to effectively move on past the argument. You may not want to tell your partner that you feel they are listening to you like a mother half listens to their child after school but if you want to solve the problem you need to be honest and open.
Avoid extending the fight, unhappiness and hurt beyond those moments and solve it right away. There's no such thing as a perfect relationship-- relationships are messy but can be made to be in sync if the two halves of a whole work together and allow for balance. Remember you are in a relationship, one of affection and compassion--- this is the person you want to be with for life. It is a partnership but it must extend beyond agreeing on dinner and whether or not you should get new shoes; it must be a spiritual harmony.
I'll say it again: Relationships aren't perfect but they can be pretty close. Solve the problem when it happens and don't expect sparkles every day. Some days are just chill and you feel like you're with a best friend and there is nothing wrong with that-- who doesn't want their life partner to also be their best friend?

Above all else, love openly. Don't keep anything in and don't let society's expectations influence how and where your relationship goes. Follow your heart.